Funny vocabs(part 2)

41.	Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
42.	Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
43.	Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
44.	Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
45.	Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
46.	Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
47.	Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
48.	Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
49.	Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
50.	Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
51.	Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
52.	Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
53.	Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
54.	Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
55.	Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
56.	Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
57.	Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
58.	Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Funny vocabs(part 1)

1.	Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
2.	Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
3.	Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
4.	Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
5.	Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
6.	Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
7.	Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
8.	Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
9.	Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
10.	Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
11.	Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
12.	Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
13.	Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
14.	Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
15.	Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
16.	Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
17.	Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
18.	Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
19.	Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
20.	Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 21. Father : A banker provided by nature. 22. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. 23. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. 24. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. 25. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early 26. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 27. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole. 28. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 29. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 30. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 31. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 32. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 33. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 34. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 35. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 36. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 37. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 38. Glibido: All talk and no action. 39. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 40. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.

Don't hate it...Love it!

Hey, all..I will be talking about my experience on taking the SAT 1 and Critical Reading(CR) in the lab. Honestly, I detest CR. I do not like reading..it is not my thing. I did not manage to attain a good score for my CR in my first attempt(in fact, it was the lowest among the three sections in my SAT 1). However, one of the ways to improve on CR is to learn to LOVE it! So, I am trying my best to not hate it. I think you should too if you are going through this as well. XD

I think the vocabulary questions are not too bad if we really go through the words which are usually found in SAT reference books. For me, the passage based questions are the intricated ones. I noticed that my interpretation on the passages are wrong at times. I think this had happened to me because I do not read a lot. Most of those who excel in CR are those who loves reading(of course) and those who are expose to American styles of writing.

During my first attempt, I seriously struggled. I was forcing myself to memorize the vocabularies and the quotes for essays. Truthfully, I have expected myself to obtain a mediocre score as I did not see much improvement from the practices that I have done. I could not even finish a section of CR in 25 minutes...hahaha. Instead, I took more time in seeking the meanings of the words in the lexicon and understanding the passage itself.

When we were told to do CR in the lab/itms, I was shocked because I would not only face the trouble of straining my eyes reading the convoluted passages on the computer screen but also to apprehend them! Gosh! I had a difficult time..Being a slow reader, I really need a quiet environment and more importantly, TIME! Amazingly, I had manage to finish them and I am glad that I improve a little compared to my CR in my first attempt.

I will surely try my best to achieve a full score for CR(trying to be optimistic..=D). Therefore, you should aim for it too!

All the best ya!

when itms freezes you to death

haiz...had another long day which ended fantastically with everyone's favorite cr...found myself staring blankly at the screen after finishing 1 section...doing 3 sections of cr non-stop can be disillusioning...best of all, the itms lab that we used was like a freezer...i was shivering most of the time that i couldn't concentrate on the passage...as if that wasn't bad enough, some people just couldn't stop talking...it became quite noisy and yu jin tried his best to control the class...huhu...

my body was aching so badly as i just realized that itms has terrible chairs...most of them look fine, but once you sit, you realize that the back of the chair doesn't really support your back! it just falls behind, finally resting on your friend's table, while your whole back aches like crazy...i wonder where they found such great chairs...coz i had fun doing 2 hours of cr while sitting on a backless chair! bravo uniten...

after doing 2 sessions, my eyes were blurry, my mind flew somewhere else...so i clicked my life-saver, the button break....after massaging my own back and stretching up a bit, i decided to go to facebook for a while...managed to update my status on how i was suffering in the freezer doing endless cr...checked some notifications, and even got comments from fellow friends who were taking break themselves...lol!


after a few minutes of facebook( a great way to release stress you know, even the body aches were gone afterwards...hehe...), i resumed my test...finally, i managed to finish all 3 sections...my result was not so impressive...but it was slightly, mind you, only slightly better than my real result during the 1st attempt...i saw improvement in myself...although i am still stuck when it comes to vocab, i did better in passage reading...fewer mistakes than before, more understanding i would say...glad to know that passages are not really that scary...gotta improve on vocabs i guess...

so that was pretty much about our session today...i do wish that mr.yu jin will stop asking us questions and talking to us when we are in the middle of the test...seriously, lost my focus a couple of times coz of that...hehe, no offence sir...just hoping that all those questions can wait till we finish our tests...

~saw improvement, although small~